I am in Britain since November. It's not long, but thanks to a British fianc? I'm undergoing an intensive course on Islanders. Lesson one ? you may live here for 20 years and never have contact with real England. Lesson two ? you will know little of the English unless you surround yourself with natives and start to distinguish Yorkshire Pudding from New College Pudding (they really are different). The remaining lessons:



You will find millions of offers at the jobcentre. Every job hunter can use computers and telephones. The kind staff explains what every job is, how much it pays and sends out the paperwork for you.

Finding a job is a breeze. A simple job is easy to find. When applying for a better job and not being a short supplied specialist, the hard to come by things are the ones that count: British references, connections (most companies ask if one of your friends works for them already), or your accent.

Life is easier here. Most Britons I know aren't the highly ambitious kind. He's a clerk; she's a secretary ? that's a typical model. This is however enough for them to have a four-bedroom house, two cars on the driveway and take the whole family on holiday (usually to Spain because that's where all the neighbours go).

We are welcomed with open arms. Not true! Except for the politicians assuring about the great contribution our nation is making to the development of the local labour market, nobody else is paying much attention. The English have been used to immigrants for centuries and the Polish invasion is but a small wave compared to the Pakistani or Chinese tsunami.

Integration or life in language ghettos? A few weeks ago some Polish friends invited me and Barry (my fianc?) to a barbecue. The friends are in college, they live in England for an average two years, so I expected some variety. And there was. Some of them come from around Krakow, others from Olsztyn, Warsaw and the Pomeranian.

At the barbecue, Barry who was in his motherland was the only person who spoke with an English accent, and one of the three out of 40 people who actually spoke English at all. I gave up and asked how it was possible for them to live in England for so long and not speak English. ? We work with Poles, live with Poles and do shopping in a supermarket, so where are we to learn? ? I've heard in response. What about college, language courses, going out to pubs or even to the cinema? They weren't interested. Most of them live in the same five-bedroom house. They live together, have parties every day but only for Poles.

What if you try to assimilate? Some Polish friends got married two weeks ago. They have come to England looking for work. They want to stay. There were six people at the wedding ? the only Englishman was a college teacher, who was asked to be the best man. He went speechless when he heard the request. His oxford education and proficiency in restraining emotions gave up on him. An Englishman would never ask another for that kind of bonding, unless they were playing with toy soldiers, that defeated poor Napoleon at Waterloo, and sinking lagers together on Fridays since they were 16 years old.

Second example: Our neighbour is married to a Russian painter. I often invite Tanya over for a cup of coffee. Recently she told me that she cannot visit me because she already has visited me once this week. Her husband forbade her. He said it is absolutely uncivilised to call on someone, even a friend, twice a week. But since an invitation was extended, it is only a gesture.

To come or not to come? Sorties for money have sense as long as England doesn't open its labour market to countries, where life is still cheaper than in Poland. And that is soon to come.

The myths about emigration were verified by Aneta Borowiec, a Warsaw journalist, an immigrant in the British provinces since November 2005.