Many people profess to be gurus when it comes to relationships. You can open the paper and seek out Dear Abby, or watch the local news and be educated about how to make a relationship work. However, most people are experts at destroying relationships. In fact, the US has the highest divorce rate in the world. It's estimated that 50% of first time marriages end in divorce, and divorce is even more likely in third or fourth marriages.



In this short article I thought it would be interesting to stop looking at what you should do to make a relationship work, and look at the opposite - what to do to make it fail. There are three very simple steps to follow, and each one will leade you closer and closer to disaster. But there is hope! By truly understanding how to make something fail then you can also understand how to make it a success, then perhaps one day you will be someone who can give really good advice out to help people.

Step #1:

Go back every night and make sure you do the exact same things, over and over. Fall into a routine, and never change it up. It's easy to do. Just make sure you take your partner for granted. Just recognise that they are the luckiest person in the world to be with you, so now you don't have to do any real work.

The first step may take a few months to kick in, but you have loads of time. Leech all the romance and passion right out of the heart of the relationship, and then step quickly onto step 2.

Step #2:

Do fun things...but make sure you exclude your partner. Make it obvious your partner takes a backseat to your friends. Of course you will do something with your partner, unless you get a better offer.

If your partner decides to take your time up by having a birthday on a night you go out, then make sure you go out with your friends. You will more than likely have a better time with them, than getting all 'smoochy' with your partner by candlelight, right? Make a saucy remark about every even slightly hot guy or girl that passes when you are with your partner. Dribble and drool as well for extra effect.

Make your other half feel worthless, retched and unimportant, then move proudly onto step 3.

Step #3:

You've made it! Your once-strong relationship is now firmly on the verge of collapse. Your partner is bored and full of self-doubt. You are finally free to feel good about lying and cheating. After all, it's all about you.

Make telling lies a habit. If you are being asked about not spending enough time with your partner then be sure to brush it off with a quick excuse. Make up some story about working late on some big project when really you are out with someone hot from the office you know they are insanely jealous about. Once they find out what you are really upto then that is bound to end the relationship.

Not to worry. It is not as if you put any effort into making your relationship work anyway.

The End

If you're looking to end a relationship fast, follow these simple steps. It's as easy as 1,2,3!