When you make the decision to go into therapy to help your marriage, you and your spouse are offering the future and past of your relationship up for scrutiny to a stranger; namely, a marriage counselor or therapist. Because this can be an uncomfortable experience, you need to ensure you have a good counselor ahead of time.



While you can never fully gauge a person until you have met them, there are certain qualities that should be integral and present in any professional marriage counselor or relationship therapist. While there are many qualities to look for in your therapist of choice, here are some of the more important ones.

One, make sure your therapist has references and credentials. This is important, as you're going in with the expectation of meeting a professional, and you want to ensure they are. Don't be afraid to ask questions and ask for references or credentials.

Two, check out their patient testimonials, as these can be the most powerful indicators of their effectiveness. If a therapist has a lot of recommendations and testimonials, even if they're selectively picked, it still means they get results.

Three, always make sure you feel comfortable with the therapist; never feel pressured or obligated into staying. You need to form a bond of trust with your therapist, and they with you; this can only be done if you're comfortable with them. The same goes for your partner; they have to feel equally comfortable with the therapist and environment.

Four, do some digging on the internet and try to find a counselor with direct experience dealing with your specific problem. While you may not always be able to find this, it's worth looking. Along this same vein, search for your potential therapist's name and see if anything bad comes up. While a lack of bad mentions does not necessarily mean they're good, it's worth noting.

Five, try and get references from friends or family members. Again, the internet can help in this as well. References are probably the best indicator of a marriage counselor's effectiveness and abilities; there are many resources available on the web as well.

Marriagemax.com is an alternative marriage advice website created and run by relationship expert Mort Fertel since 2004. It covers a broad range of marriage topics and offers advice and ideas for helping out your marriage.