If you're asking, "What do women really want?" whether for dating, romance or relationships the answer is simple. Women really want a man who is self confident. Now, we said self-confident. We didn't say arrogant, obnoxious, filled with his own self-importance, or so narcissistic that he thinks he's more special than any of the ordinary people of this world.



A man who is self-confident believes that he has the strength to tackle adversity, has or can learn the skills to make a happy and successful life for himself and his family, and believes so strongly in himself that he isn't threatened by an equally strong and self-confident woman. That is what women really want.

To achieve this self-confidence that women really want from their man, doesn't mean that you turn into macho man. You don't have to develop the physique of Arnold Schwarzenegger or the swagger of John Wayne. You can even have and show some fear, some vulnerability and even an occasional self-doubt and still exude confidence.

If you're asking, "What do women really need?", you get a very different answer. Even the most independent of women are dependent on men, so says a prominent psychologist. While women boast of being feminists, this expert says, they haven't changed from the generations where men were needed to complete them, and for their very survival. The psychologist claims that it will be another 10,000 years at least before men are not what all women really need above all else.

His stance is that women really need men because they come preprogrammed to feel dependent on the male of the species. Even though women are doing well financially on their own, climbing their career ladders and living allegedly happily on their own their psyche, according to this study, includes a fear that they can't survive on their own without a man.

The researcher who published this report on what women really need specializes in evolutionary psychology. He analyzed much evidence that he determined proved key differences between the sexes that are as true now as they were in the days of the cave dwellers.

Women, he points out, really need men partly because they are smaller and therefore weaker than males. They need men to protect them physically at times, but also need their social standing, which, in today's uneven world, seems to still be greater for the male than oftentimes for a female whose career is more successful.

In this study women were asked to choose their potential mates from groups of three types of males. The first group of men weren't overly handsome, just kind of average looking and some downright ugly; and wore expensive business suits.

The second group were men of somewhat better looks who dressed casually in chinos and golf polo shirts or similar wardrobes. The third group were handsome, muscular men in Burger King uniforms. Time and time again the women picked the less physically attractive men in the suits. The Burger King guys came in way at the end of the choices. What this proved to the researchers was that what these women really needed was stability and social standing.

A male who is young and not socially savvy will seldom attract the attention of or solicit a relationship with an older, somewhat unattractive woman who is a noteworthy and socially prominent figure. You'll often see young, unsophisticated women who are not so worldly wise pursuing relationships with and falling in love with older, not particularly physically attractive who are worldly-wise, powerful, successful and socially prominent. Women really need this kind of power on the fringes when they cant come up with their own power.

A bit more about the kind of self confidence that women really want from their man is the kind that says, "I know I can most likely get through this okay, and I'm sure going to try". Women don't really need you to be a rah-rah cheerleader every moment of every day. They just need you to show that when the chips are down you can take it and still be there for themselves and you both.

Self-confidence isn't as easy to achieve for men as it was before, and perhaps that is why women really want to see it so much more now. In past centuries, survival was dependent on self-confidence. Men had to know they could kill the game for their family's food, could outshoot the villain at the castle gate, and could bring in a crop to feed their family through the winter. That kind of self-confidence for men was a given. Women didn't think in terms of really wanting that kind of man. A man that survived very far into adulthood during turbulent times such as the Middle Ages and the early Wild West days of the United States' development obviously had confidence or he wouldn't be alive.

What women could say they really wanted then was a provider, a fighter, a great shot, and an accomplished sharpshooter.

Today's man doesn't need to have confidence in his pugilistic skills, his marksmanship, and he doesn't even need to provide for the entire family in most cases. So for some they've lost track of where their self-confidence is coming from. This makes women want to see that self-confidence even more because it's not as obvious or abundant as it once had to be.

In short, what women really want is a man who is willing, even though he has fears, to stand up and face the trials and tribulations of each new tough day with success, and who is strong enough to allow her to be strong without fear of his resentment of her strength.