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Dont Take It Personally

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Nobody likes to be criticized.



When the complaint is coming from a client or customer, however, criticisms can actually be your best friend.

Whether they're about you, your company or your product, constructive criticism can be a powerful opportunity for you to improve your sales technique, close more deals ? and increase your revenues.

The key is to not respond defensively or angrily. Most sales people ? like most people period ? get their dander up the moment anyone says anything even remotely negative. They get defensive, angry or, in the worst-case scenario, they look for ways to retaliate either overtly or coercively.

The following four-step process can help you learn how to take criticism well, and even begin to use it to enhance your client relationships.

Step 1: Thank the client for their feedback.

Try saying something like ?thanks for bringing this to my attention, I appreciate the opportunity you've given me to improve (the level of service, my responsiveness, etc).?

Step 2: Ask questions.

People love to teach others what to do. So involve your customer in the solution by asking them what suggestions they have that might help you improve.

Asking questions will allow you and your client to have a constructive dialogue around the issue at hand. Who knows, the client may even make a suggestion you never thought of!

Step 3: Listen.

Your client is entitled to their opinion. So whatever they have to say ? hear them out.

Listen to what is being said, process it, reflect on it and then use it to improve. Try taking notes to show that what they're saying is important to you. If your client feels you're taking their opinion seriously, they'll be less likely to get angry and more willing to work with you to reach a resolution.

If you listen with the intent to improve, you'll have an even better chance of understanding their point of view. Use the listening techniques you've developed as a sales professional to ask probing questions or ask for examples. And remember: let the client do at least 70% of the talking.

At the end of the conversation, summarize what they've said to show them that you understand. Then ask for one more opinion: what they think you should do to improve.

Step 4: Commit to improve.

Finally, always let the customer know that you appreciate their opinions and suggestions ? and that you will be taking concrete steps to improve. You can even go so far as to ask whether they'd like you to check in with them again in a couple of weeks.

In the meantime, don't turn your back on what they've said or try to forget about it. Spend some time looking for any validity in the criticism, and perhaps share the feedback with someone you can trust to tell you the truth. This will also give you a chance to look at the criticism from a neutral perspective.

One last thought: I've seen far too many people pull their ads, cancel programs, postpone events or ruin otherwise profitable relationships just because somebody got offended. So whatever you do ? don't ever take criticism personally.

I know this can be hard to do, especially when it's coming from someone you like (or someone who signs your paychecks!). The fact of the matter is, if you're not offending at least one person, you're probably not pushing hard enough.

The real you may make 2-3% of your clients uncomfortable. That's okay, because you weren't going to sell to them anyway. The thing to remember is that the other 97% of your clients really want to see your personality, your style and your communication reflected in your work. If you try to make everyone happy, the only thing you can be certain of is becoming a bland commodity that no one will be particularly excited about.

Only you can give other people permission to make you feel bad. Interpreting criticism as a subjective opinion with a solution instead of a personal rebuke will help you grow, build better relationships and, ultimately, become more successful.

So take the opinions and criticism of others seriously, not personally. Use what they say to create an action plan to upgrade your performance, both personally and professionally.

And don't worry about being perfect. As the Bard once said ? to thine own self be true. Be your best not for your boss, your customers or even your family. Be your best for you.




Copyright MMVII, Engage Selling: All Rights Reserved. All trademarks used or referred to on this site are the property of their respective owners. No materials on this site may be reproduced, altered or further distributed without Engage's prior written permission. http://www.engageselling.com/
Dont Take It Personally
"Bodacious" means to be bold, outstanding, and remarkable. Take those attributes to work and you're on your way to building a fulfilling, bodacious career. Does having a bodacious career sound exciting to you? It is! After starting as an $8 an hour customer service rep, I rose through the ranks of AOL, accepting four promotions and surviving over six layoffs to become the head of corporate training for 12,000 employees. Along the way I learned I needed to be bodacious to achieve the career I wanted. Out of that experience I created my "cheat sheet" of ten essential Bodacious Career Builders. Here's the first one: Don't Take it Personally.

"Don't take it personally" is my absolute number one favorite Bodacious Way because it comes in handy all the time. We can all remember a time when we took it personally, right? We spent all this time, energy, and emotion on processing how we felt when someone slighted us, what we wished we'd said, and what, if anything, we were going to do about it. And most of the time when it was over and we were slumped in out chair feeling exhausted, needing to face a long list of things still to get done, we wish we'd spent our time on something else, something we cared more about, something more productive.

Amazingly, my own experience has shown me that throughout my work day people aren't going around thinking about MY feelings! They're not saying, "Gee, when I call Mary on the phone, when I send her an e-mail, when I see her in today's meeting, how is she going to feel about what I say or do?" Nooooo, they're just doing their thing! Still, how often have I reacted to something a co-worker has said or done when it was delivered in anything less than a positive tone?

At one point in my AOL career I decided to make big internal move from hard-earned position at the call center manager of 250 people to join the human resources team to head up the company's first ever corporate training group. I remember a few months after making the move the company held a big party where I ran into a customer service rep who used to work for me. We started chatting and he remarked, "Mary, I don't understand why you took this new job. I mean you were doing so well in the call center and you could have gone up and up. It doesn't make sense." At first I was shocked and started to take it personally.

Then, somehow I caught myself and thought "How come this guy thinks he knows more about what's best for me than I do?" In that moment I decided that instead of justifying my career move, I'd simply make a statement. So, I replied, "You know, I think it was the best move for me", exited myself from the conversation, and moved on.

This is what Bodacious Women do. When someone says or does something that sparks an internal reaction, when you start to take it personally, you hesitate and create a few seconds of delay to ask yourself simple questions like "Is this something I ought to pay attention to? Does it really have merit?" It's amazing when we create a few seconds of delay and ask such questions we often answer ourselves with "No, not enough" and let it go.

Certainly, there are those times when we think, "Well, I may not take this personally, but I need to say something, I need to do something to speak my mind and set the record straight." Bodacious Women recognize this need and make the phone call, write the e-mail, go see the person, or do whatever they believe is appropriate. And, then, when that's done, they still let it go.

Let's face it. Creating the habit of not taking it personally isn't easy. But it's so worth it. Because if you do, you will save yourself a lot of time, a lot of frustration, and maybe even a little heartache.

BODACIOUS CAREER BUILDER #1: Create a few seconds of delay in responding to others so that what they say or do doesn't immediately affect your self-worth.

Copyright (c) 2007 Mary Foley
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About Author
Both Colleen Francis & Mary Foley are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Colleen Francis has sinced written about articles on various topics from Sales and Negotiation, Public Relations and Children. Colleen Francis, Sales Expert is Founder and President of Engage Selling Solutions, which delivers sales solutions that realize immediate results, achieve lasting success and permanently raise the client's bottom line. Engage Selling - Everything you need. Colleen Francis's top article generates over 110000 views. Bookmark Colleen Francis to your Favourites.

Mary Foley has sinced written about articles on various topics from Site Promotion, Prospects and The Internet. Mary Foley, author of ?Bodacious! Career: Outrageous Success for Working Women? inspires women to be courageously in charge of their lives, careers and businesses. You can be inspired, too! Get her free e-book ?10 Bodacious Ways for a Bodacious Career. Mary Foley's top article generates over 8100 views. Bookmark Mary Foley to your Favourites.
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