These people are idiots. Who the hell adopts a quote from a 'slow' movie character as their personal credo, anyway? Sure, I watched Forrest Gump. I watched Rain Man, too, but you don't see me nodding sagely and proclaiming, 'I'm an excellent driver. Excellent driver.' every time things take a turn for the worse. You might as well quote Ace Ventura. Useless.
Others say that life is like a rose, delicate and beautiful but cursed with thorns.
These people should be wearing black sackcloth and flagellating themselves at an emo concert somewhere. 'Beautiful but thorny,' they say, all misty-eyed. No. In my book, 'beautiful but thorny' is a stripper wearing a cactus G-string. Or a cheerleader stuck in a briar patch. Or a sex doll made of thistles. Those things are not 'life'. Wax your poetics elsewhere, Emerson wanna-bes.
Then there are those who say life is like a river, or an ocean, or a lake.
Why? I don't know -- maybe because it's wet, cold, and brimming with fish pee. You'd have to ask the treehugging yahoos who say this sort of thing. Preferably while you're dangling their heads into a dirty toilet. There's your 'ocean of life' right there, slappy.
So what is life really like? Well, I've got a few ideas on the matter. And there are no 'box of chocolates' or 'delicate roses' here; that's for certain. Observe:
'Life is like a stint in juvie.':
The first little while is scary, but soon you realize that you could be in far worse places, with a hairy roommate named Fangs and only a hole to poop in. And in the back of your mind, you know that's where you're probably headed eventually. Because you're incorrigible.
'Life is like a nude beach at a fat farm.':
It's never quite as exciting as you think it's going to be, because most of the naked people you see aren't the naked people you really want to see. It's also a bad idea to accept food from strangers. You don't know where it's been. And you don't want to know, either.
'Life is like a bowl of three-alarm chili.':
No matter how much spice you like, there's just a little bit more than you can handle. Drinking plenty of water will help get you through it, but when it's over, you'll be sweating just as much as the rest of us. And remember: as much as it hurt coming in, it'll be at least as painful going out the other end.
'Life is like sex with an Armenian hooker.':
It's exciting and exotic, but you really don't understand it as well as you think you do, which is probably going to cost you a lot of money along the way. It might also give you a nasty disease. Also, the longer it continues, the more hair you discover growing in places where hair has no right to be.
'Life is like being Larry Flynt.':
Early on, there's some sex and partying, but you can never really get enough. Then, some fundy psycho will shoot you or something, and you'll need a wheelchair to get around. Oh, and in the movie version, Courtney Love will get naked a lot, and then drown in a bathtub. So that'll be nice.
'Life is like milking your cat.':
Nobody else is going to do it quite the same way as you would -- and most people probably would rather you didn't do it at all. Which means that very few people will appreciate what you're trying to accomplish. On the other hand, if you work hard enough, you can make your own cheese. Scrumptious!
'Life is like a trip past the Fun House mirrors.':
First, you're very small. Then, you're tall and skinny. Next, you're fat and squishy. And at no time do you look anything remotely like the way you want to look. Also? There will probably be clowns nearby to laugh at you.
'Life is like a stripper wearing a cactus G-string.':
It's beautiful, but thorny. Also, the more money you have, the longer you're likely to keep it. And if you keep it long enough, it'll make your nethers tingle in several different ways -- but not all of them good.
Don't Talk To Me
In the world of online commerce, there is no one like eBay. Indeed this Online Auction giant has taken the world of Auction Sky High and this review is in its honor. Throughout the world, stories abound of power sellers who have made it big, but the simple truth is that for every power seller that is successful, there are untold numbers of others who fail miserably. For most of these failures, it is fair to say that lack of understanding of the mechanics behind eBay is the main culprit. If only these folks had heard of Sky Auctions Review!
Ebay is a relative new comer in the online business. Started as a tiny home venture its growth has been nothing short of miraculous to the extent that there are nor over 55 million subscribers! An it's not just in terms of members that eBay is now a force in the business world. In terms of traffic, it also rivals Google, the other online giant.
One can find just about anything to buy through eBay. From the sublime to the ridiculous, buyers and sellers are the heart of this community and for some, the experience is better than the others. This failure is undoubtedly attributable to the fact that most of the folks who involve themselves in the auction world don't know the first think about it, or come at it from a straightforward brick and mortar type of business. How different their experience would have been, had then know about Sky Auctions Review!
In most business, success is usually down to customers. If they are willing to buy and businesses have the product at the right price, then they will. If the product is not found, they'll just move on to the next shop or mall. Likewise for eBay customers who will just more on the next seller in their quest to find their next deal but here there is twist. eBay needs competent vendors in order to survive. This competence comes with experience or from knowledge passed on from those who have it in the first place.
One of eBay best know event is the yearly extravaganza they organize for the benefits of their vendors. Hosted in a different city each year, these events brings together successful powersellers and other vendors who hope to profit from them.
I attended such an event in las Vegas, a couple of years ago and so did over seven thousand other people who were there to do one thing. To learn as much as possible. Looking back and taking into consideration the wealth of insider information available through Sky Auctions Review I know now that the latter is in fact way more productive in terms of setting some one through the right path, and when it comes to knowledge, there is nothing quite like what this course offers!
eBay of course realizes the importance of knowledge for the success of their business and usually go though greats lengths to ensure that these vendors are well looked after. They give guidelines, they make suggestions, but what they cannot and will no do though is give the one two three guide to eBay success and Sky High Auctions does!
Let's not kid ourselves though. Ebay is a cut throat business where only the strong survive. The others, those who fail usually do for a simple and tragic reason: They didn't know what to do, nor did they have the right information to succeed.
Indeed, knowledge can be instrumental in the ultimate failure or success of any business endeavor, but in the case of eBay, there is such a thing as the right knowledge!
Vendors up and down the country and beyond quickly realize that eBay is no longer this nice electronic being that makes online and home business easy. Sellers struggle with finding the right product at the right price, don't know which tool to use to manage their auction business and are often times unaware of basic fulfillment procedure which can make the difference between a product that arrives at its destination on time or too late.
And thus most of them struggle to stay in business, realizing that they may have bitten something much bigger then they had ever imagined.
When a vendor has worked hard to earn a reputation validated by a perfect feedback store, the realization that all it takes is a disgruntled customer to knock down the perfect score is an example of how tough this business is? if you don't know the ropes.
Unless you have the right tools at your disposal and are told exactly which steps to take in order to succeed in which case, your path to success will indeed be an easy one to travel on. Sky High Auctions Review show you how you can take advantage of secrets and methods the most successful power sellers use in their daily Auction business.
Both Charlie Hatton & Jonathan Bartholomew Travis-fontaine are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.