Saddam Hussein, in his latest bid to escape execution for crimes against his own people, has applied to McDonald's for a franchise. The application is widely regarded as a move by his defense team to convince the court that, if his life is spared, he will be a model citizen in the Iraq of the future.
In his application, Hussein states that he has a great deal of fast-food experience from his months on the run. He also states that, if granted the franchise, he will cease and desist from pathological social behavior that brings into question his qualifications to be a reputable franchisee. He has applied for a location in Bagdad that affords a view of one of his former palaces, so he might find peace in reminiscence as conducts his burger business.
Upon approval by McDonald's, the agreement will be submitted to the court. At that time, the defense is expected to claim that he should be acquitted on the grounds that there is no precedent whatsoever for hanging a McDonald's franchisee.
Depending on the outcome of Hussein's plea, his codefendants may or may not apply to McDonald's. There is some disagreement among them, as to whether or not their should try to corner the McDonald's market or have the courage to compete with their former boss by opening rival chains, such as Burger King and Wendy's. One defendant is reportedly considering an Appleby's franchise, apparently because of a misunderstanding. He wishes one day to be accepted as “American as apple pie” and is unaware that the chain is, in reality, just another burger joint.
Ramsey Clark states, “The move by Hussein to become a McDonald's franchisee clearly indicates that he intends to reform himself and should be given opportunity.”
While many Sunnis seem eager to patronize the former dictator's restaurant, Shiites and Kurds are threatening to boycott it.
The American military has voiced concern about possible reprisals, particularly the threat of suicide bombers disguised as drive-through patrons.
Execution Of Saddam Hussein
Just before the Saddam execution, before the first of the year, 2007, we purchased some Iraqi currency, 5-dinar (pronounced DEE-nar) notes to 250-dinar notes--all sporting portrait photos of a smiling Saddam on their face--for an average price of 38 cents each. Right after the execution--a matter of just one week--the price tripled, to about $1.10 each. We simply stashed these away in our safe deposit box and forgot them.
Quickly thereafter, it seems, con men--those who love to play their games in foreign exchange--found what they believed to be a bonanza. Just one month later, February, 2007, the Better Business Bureau was suddenly flooded with complaints from around the world. The scam involved originated from a Chicago area office-space-rental cubicle, found vacated when located. The con men were selling these obsolete bills for prices ranging from several hundred to thousands of dollars each. Strange twist is: these orders were never delivered. (Could it be that the price went even higher?) Many of the victims turned out to be our service men and women in Iraq. We'd say doing hard time in a Saudi prison would be fitting punishment for these scam artists, for this focus of the scam alone.
It should have been abundantly clear that, with the demise of the Iraqi dictator--actually well before that, when he was overthrown in 2003--these bills were strictly a memorabilia item for collectors. Investors were told that big value increases were in store for them--if the value of Iraqi money were to increase. This implies that a money market element could stimulate growth. Wrong. As "dead currency" this was not the case.
There seems to be some inherent wisdom in this con man joke, as it applies to this unconscionable scam: What's the difference between a con man and a catfish? Answer: one is a scum-sucking bottom dweller, and the other is a fish.
Apparently, parties unknown and unfound raked in a huge amount of money with this scam. What further can be said on the subject? Only the summation: when in doubt subscribe to that sacrosanct legalism: caveat emptor, let the buyer (sucker) beware.
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Tom Atteanewslaugh.com has sinced written about articles on various topics from Humour, Humour. Tom Attea, creator of http://Newslaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway and has written comedy for TV. Critics have called his writing ""delightfully funny" and "wi. Tom Atteanewslaugh.com's top article generates over 2900 views. Bookmark Tom Atteanewslaugh.com to your Favourites.
Jack Payne has sinced written about articles on various topics from Legal Matters, Education and Humour. The Con Man's Blog, and first two chapters of Jack Payne's legal thriller book, Six Hours Pas. Jack Payne's top article generates over 27100 views. Bookmark Jack Payne to your Favourites.
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