What did “family unity” mean to the pioneer family or the people who settled our country? For many of these noble people, family unity was both a necessity and a natural way of life. They relied heavily on each other for survival. Like families of the past, we have an even stronger need for unity today.



Each family member has his own strengths and interests. Each individual can accomplish many things. But without support from other family members, all of these separate people cannot be called a real family. We must be willing to think of others in the family and how our actions affect the whole group. We must be willing to do what is best for all, not just think of our own needs. Even though our decisions for our own lives may differ from others in the family, we must support one another and not criticize that decision. Other family members will constantly make decisions that are different from our own, but we must support one another in that decision.

How many times have we sacrificed something for a family member, such as not attending an important meeting so we could see our son in a baseball game or our daughter in a school play? The following story is an example of selfless sacrifice of two parents. When I read this story as a young teen, I never forgot it and it stayed in my memory ever since.

With joy filling every fiber of her being, the young woman asked the doctor, “When can I see my baby?”

The young mother had just given birth to her son and was ecstatic to see her newborn baby. The nurse promptly brought her infant to her and laid the little boy in her arms. When the mother removed the soft blanket from his little head, she gasped as she saw that her little boy was born without ears. The doctor tried to comfort her and told her that he believed her son's hearing would not be affected one bit, but time would tell.

As time passed, the doctor had been right. The young boy's hearing was fine, but his appearance was blemished. When he eventually attended school, his peers called him cruel names and made fun of. Many a night he spent in his room crying. When his mother heard the sobs coming from his room, she walked in and sat beside him on his bed and smoothed his hair with the gentleness that only a mother can have. Then he poured his heart out to her, telling her how he was treated in school. This broke the young mother's heart as she listened to her son's anguish. What could she do to help? He was a handsome and intelligent young man, but the girls never seemed to look past his misfortune. He had a few friends, but how would he be able to deal with people as an adult? Would adults overlook such a problem or avoid him?

Finally the boy's father took him to the family doctor and asked if anything could be done for their son. The doctor looked at the young boy and said, “I believe that we could graft on a pair of ears, but it'll be expensive. Would you be able to afford it?”

The young father instantly replied, “No, but we'll make do. We'll do anything to help our son, even if we have to mortgage our home.”

The doctor nodded and after they left his office, he began the long search. Over two years went by and finally the doctor found what was needed. The operation was a success and the young man looked like a new person. He knew of the sacrifice that his parents had made by mortgaging their home and he was forever grateful. He never took their gift for granted. His confidence began to grow and he entered many school competitions and won. He graduated from college with honors and even fell in love and was married.

The years went by, and he never forgot the gift his parents had selflessly given to him. Then one day, the young man received word that his mother had passed away. With grief in his heart, he went to the funeral and stood beside his father at his mother's casket. His father gently nudged his son and said, “Your mother always thought of your happiness, son. Her love knew no bounds.”

Then he bowed over his wife's body, and tenderly swept her gray hair from around her face. The young man gasped and tears began trickling down his face as he saw before him the generous and beloved donor that had given him his ears.

Each member must work together for the good of the family, whether it is spiritual, emotional, or temporal needs, and by accepting one another for who they are, without criticism. A family is like a small circle. If we open our circle to others with love and caring, then our circles will grow larger as we touch the lives of others. In other words, are we reaching out to those in need, allowing them to feel loved?

We must strive for family unity and in doing so, we must show our love and support to our family members by going to an important event of a family member to show support, planning a family gathering, forgiving one another's offenses or faults, sending a “thinking-of-you” card to someone just for the fun of it, and staying overnight and bonding with family members who have moved away. We can't afford to let our children go astray because we don't take time with them. This is what family is all about: loving one another and helping one another no matter how different our thoughts and beliefs are. This is called unconditional love. But at the same time, we, as parents, always hope that our children will be better than we are. Edgar A. Guest described the true feelings of a parent:

No man, though great his own success,

Would have a son of his do less.

Poor man or rich, his hopes are high

That as the years go swiftly by,

He'll be allowed to live to see

His son a nobler person than he;

And this the prayer he often makes:

“Lord, keep my son from my mistakes.” ---Edgar A. Guest

Copyright 2006