You may think these are the words of a teacher. But no, it was a high school student just before an important exam. She'd worked hard. A good result would mean a place in college, so she'd made sure she was in the right frame of mind.

But she soon forgot herself. Once inside the classroom where everyone was waiting before going to the exam hall, she made the mistake of letting the others affect her.

She told me later that the place was charged with negative energy. Some students were sitting around with glum faces, while others were fidgeting and pacing nervously. And the air was full of comments like: 'Who else is going to fail? I know I am!' 'This ain't gonna be easy, that's for sure.' 'I could do with another month to prepare.' 'I'm in BIG trouble!'

So it went on. And the girl in question allowed herself to be sucked under. She reported a feeling of nausea as the confidence drained from her.

Luckily she managed a pass, but everyone - and no one more than the student herself - was disappointed that she never achieved the expected high grade.

They say we can learn from our mistakes, and she learned two vital lessons from that experience: * The constant use of negative words leads to negative results in life * We all need to be on our guard so that we don't allow the negativity of others to knock us off course.

Our experience in any situation is largely influenced by our attitude to it, (i.e. the way we FEEL, the way we react emotionally to the situation).

The attitude we have works on our thoughts, which in turn affect our speech, then our speech further conditions our thoughts!

And it's not only our own language we must watch! As mentioned above, if we allow them to, other people's words can have a bad effect on us. In my country (the UK) teachers and parents are quite used to hearing students claim to be 'stuck' when they're at their school or homework. They've come up against some challenging material and need to find a way forward.

Fair enough, ask the teacher for help, that's what they're there for. Many a parent has given their kids that advice.

But the words, 'I'm stuck', are not so harmless as they may seem

What message does that send to the brain?

In my teaching I have monitored this many times, all with similar results. When I hear a student claim to be 'stuck', I usually say 'I'll see you in a few minutes', then I let them get on with it.

When other kids are in a similar situation but say 'I need help, please', I'll say the same to them.

Can you guess the results? Yes, those who are, in their own words, 'stuck' will sit and wait for help. In effect they have told their brains to shut down, there's no point in trying.

Yet the students who saw themselves as 'needing help' have sent their brains a different message: 'No time for a rest, help is on the way!' So they keep working.

That's the effect language has on us!

I should add, I only ever hear the cries of 'I'm stuck!' in a class that's new to me. Very quickly the students learn that they're not trees, so they're not stuck!

Some may think this is a denial of reality. But since our language can affect our INTERPRETATION of reality, why not put it to good use, rather than create 'problems'?

As a writer, I often hear people say they'd love to write a book. Recently one young woman said exactly that, then followed up with '. . . but I don't suppose I ever will.'

She wasn't pleased at my reply: 'No, I don't think you ever will.'

We then had a discussion about negative language and she soon saw where I was coming from. As Henry Ford said many years ago: 'If you think you can't, you're right.'

What, then, can parents do to help not only their children's schooling but their life skills?

Help them be aware of the language they use, and demonstrate what we mean by keeping our own words positive. They'll soon pick up that 'Science is too hard!' will only make it more challenging for them.

'I need to work at it' will make it easier to do just that!

Now we're on the right track, but what should they do if they're assaulted by negativity from others and lose their way?

This trick may sound ridiculous, but rest assured, it's effective!

The best thing to do when you come up against negative language or gestures is to remove yourself. But if that's not possible, imagine you're inside a huge bubble or jar, which moves around with you.

Imagine now that your positive language can go out to others and do them good - but their negative comments and behaviour are neatly blocked by your armour, so you are safe.

Try it. It works . . .

Enjoy being a parent!