Most people's feelings and thoughts about themselves regularly change based on their daily experiences. How well you do in an exam, how your friends treat you, the ups and downs in a relationship, these can all have a temporary impact on your wellbeing.



Your self-esteem, however, is something more fundamental than the normal "ups and downs" associated with situational changes. For people with good levels of self-esteem, normal "ups and downs" may lead to temporary fluctuations in how they feel about themselves, but only to a limited extent. In contrast, for people with poor levels of self-esteem, these "ups and downs" can make all the difference in the world.

Our self-esteem develops and evolves throughout our lives as we build an image of ourselves through our experiences with different people and activities. Experiences during our childhood play a particularly vital role in the shaping of our basic self-esteem. When we were growing up, our successes (and failures) and how we were treated by the members of our immediate family, by our teachers and by our peers, all contributed to the creation of our basic self-esteem. If you were praised and given attention during your childhood these would contribute to having a healthy self-esteem, however if you were teased and harshly critisised during your childhood, these are factors that would lead to low self-esteem.

How can you improve you self-esteem?

You can start by accepting that you are not alone, thousands of people feel the same. Secondly, you can start believing that you are a wonderful and special person. Don't worry about making mistakes, we are all entitled to do so. Making mistakes is only human, and we all learn by them. Learn to respect yourself and you will be respected by others.

Many people with poor self-esteem often think that they're opinions don't count. Learn to stop these negative thoughts. If that's what you believe, you'll only encourage other people to believe that too. Instead start thinking of yourself as someone who's opinions and views are just as important as everybody else's.

One of the most important things you should be aware of is that the belief that you need to be different from how you are in order to be loved causes a great deal of misery. Unless you are happy within, you'll never be truly satisfied with what you do. Loving yourself unconditionally is the key to happiness. With improved self-esteem, your relationships will benefit, if you are single, why not boost your self-esteem with adult sex toys. But you don't have to be perfect: the most loved person in the world makes mistakes! You don't even have to do your best. You don't have to prove anything. You're all right because you're all right, and lovable exactly as you are.