Imagine two needles. One of them is lost in a stack of needles, and the other one is lost in a seemingly endless haystack. The former compares to how normal women perceive an unavailable man. The latter vies to how wise women, in their sophisticated way of thinking, perceives an unavailable man; hard to identify, but once recognized, stands out so well that he actually pulls all eyes towards him. However, that kind of standing out requires so much attention to detail that it would be hard to do without some guidelines. So here are some ideas to find that needle in a haystack.



Emotionally unavailable men are not outright introverts, but not all-out extroverts either. They are magnet-like, pulling people towards them. Their qualities make them the master of many relationships. But since they have the typical introverted quality, the stability of these relationships are often dependent on the balance of emotions. And even though an unavailable man may show pure commitment, when the balance tips the emotions over, these relationships become meaningless, and consequently short-lived. Be wary when he says ?I just want to keep my options open,? it just means that he does not want to be exclusively tied to one person.

The next fact that you would want to look for is the truth that emotionally unavailable men are more volatile than most women ? they just don't know what they want, even if the options were staring them in the face. If you would dig every one of the relationships he had in the past few months, it would be like looking at a montage of Hollywood celebrities ? these girls look different and have very different personalities. No, he doesn't lack his standards of taste. He just doesn't know which taste exactly arouses his emotions.

Finally, when women do find them, and do date them, practically beating the odds of nature, there's one more thing they ought to know: never ever, under any sane circumstance, try to change them. It's a common mistake, and by far, is the best way to cause a relationship to self-destruct.

Okay, let's face the inevitable truth that women always want to become ?the one? for a guy they like. In this case, were talking of the emotionally unavailable guy who apparently isn't so sure how to look for the ?one.? When a woman forces him to a stalemate of commitment, where neither side will have any options of looking away, he tends to feel the burden of emotional effort he has to invest. And believe me, that really won't make him happy, or even feel at ease.

So ladies, don't try to put chains around his neck just so he'd bequeath a hundred percent of his commitment to you ? that would just break his neck. Instead, do it with fine subtlety. If you're the ?one?, then you're the ?one?. He wouldn't feel the pressure if that was the case, making the relationship feel more ?meant to be? that ?made to be?.

But even though dating emotionally unavailable men seems to be more of a risk than a stroll in the park, there are actually hints for women to pick up early in the game. Most of them are logically easy to spot, while others are like jigsaw puzzles that need analysis. Spotting them could mean the difference to a relationship's success, or its downfall. And since we're talking of a relationship that normally puts emotions on the line, women are better off not risking anything when it looks like everything's not going to be smooth.

Looking at him from perspective, the emotionally unavailable man is definitely not playing the commitment game, although he doesn't shun it out completely to the point that he doesn't consider anything out of it. The fact remains that he just plays his cards well ? sometimes on the safe side, at other times bluffing to the point that he may not even know what he exactly is doing. If you're a woman who's stuck to this type of guy, find time to observe him with depth. Try to read his game if you can; identification is the best weapon the arsenal of the getting to know you game.

If you do well, then you might just win a wonderful relationship. Otherwise, if it involves you risking everything for an unsure outcome, fold the cards. Rinse and repeat; try not to lose in the middle of the game.