Here's an actual example.



My spouse would sometimes buy me signature

clothing. When my Mom founds out how much it costs,

she would advise us to budget our money and just buy

the affordable ones.

A problem occurs when my spouse thinks that her effort

to give me the best was unappreciated. Mom, on

the other hand, would think that my spouse is such

a spender.

There's a conflict with their beliefs. No two

people are exactly alike. We are totally unique;

not only physically, but mentally and emotionally

as well.

There will be many times when your opinion will not

correspond with that of another. So how can people

prevent this kind of conflict from occurring?

Communication is the key to overcome doubts and

misunderstandings.

You should let other people know what's in your mind.

Don't keep them guessing.

There was a story about two couples who were filing

a divorce. After the lawyer have spoken to them

both, he found out that the root cause of all their

problems was due to miscommunication.

Here's one of the couple's problems.

The man filing the divorce said that he just hated

the breakfast meal that his wife often prepared for

him. On the other hand, the wife said that she's

only preparing the meal because she thought it was

her husband's favorite. But she never liked cooking

it because it's very difficult to prepare.

See? If only one of them took the initiative to

speak out what's in his or her mind, then that

particular dilemma would be over.

Now why would people prefer to keep their complaints

and criticisms to themselves? What's holding them

back?

It's because they do not want to be rejected. Most,

people, if not all, would like to be accepted and to

be perceived as likeable in the eyes of others.

So can you get your message across without hurting

their feelings?

Substitute negative statements with positive ones.

Instead of saying "You don't understand," say "Let

me explain." Instead of remarking "You're wrong,"

say "Permit me to clarify." Instead of stating

"You failed to say," just mention "Perhaps this was

not stated."

There are certain words that affect a person more

negatively in comparison with other words that have

the same meaning.

Nothing could be more pleasing to the ear than

hearing someone else say that you are right. In

this case, be prepared to let other people know that

you respect their opinions. You may add your comments

at the end, but acknowledge them first.

Say:

You're right, although ...

Great suggestion, however ...

I agree with your opinion, however ...

I would feel the same way if I were you, although ...

I understand your situation, however ...

Reassure your counterparts that the decision made will

benefit both parties. People need to feel that they

have made the right choice.

Communication is a gift. Use it wisely for everyone's

advantage.