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Please Dont Make Me

    View: 
It seems that our tech toys have become the adult equivalent of an umbilical cord. So how can we live without them?



And what about now, when, as a good citizen, who also doesn't want to get arrested, you at least have to endure your plane trip without their nourishment and comfort? Let's do a checklist of tech tonics that can cause us to experience separation anxiety.

Your laptop. No more making the flight a window to catch up with your work or idle the time away with a video game. Even if you're reunited with the high-tech marvel after the flight, what if you're on a tropical island, marooned on the coconut garden without a high-speed Internet connection?

Your cell phone. No more last minute chats before takeoff or immediate reconnection on landing. How bereft can life get?

Your Palm or Blackberry. Can't take either of those on board either, and, as you know, out of phone numbers and email addresses, out of business, worse yet, cut off from your entire social life, at least, for the seemingly eternal length of the flight.

Your MP3 player. No, no, anything but that! How will your soul survive the deafening silence?

And the reluctance to separate from our tech tools isn't the only reason many Americans are reluctant to take the vacations they once flew out of their office chairs for. Most Americans also fret, in these days when what used to be called workaholic hours now seem more like half days, that the employer will use the occasion to replace you with somebody who has shown promise of never needing something as irresponsible as a vacation, at least, not one that goes on and on for that long ago and faraway interlude of two weeks.

What's an exhausted and tense person to do? Here's our humble but functional answer. Most years we take long weekends, with only an occasional year in which we indulge in a flagrant week or two away from our day-to-day entanglements. We find the possibility of frequent breaks inviting, and we don't get taken out of our lives the way the extended vacations of yore used to separate us from our usual doings. We also find that most of the world is within reach during these three-day to five-day intervals.

Of course, if you're thinking of heading to Australia or the Far East, you may be doing little more than making a U-turn, so better reserve those destinations for the rare times when you dare a week or - dare we even mention the words? - two or even three weeks?

Then again, you can always decide to move to a vacation destination forever, especially when you compare the length of the idylls in other parts of what we loosely refer to as the civilized world.

According to the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, as of 2004, in the US full-time employees have 3.9 holiday and vacation weeks off a year, while in the UK they have 6.6 weeks, in France 7, and in Italy 7.9.

But do you really want to part with the good, young USA for an extended or everlasting break? For most of us the thought remains an occasion for separation anxiety that we simply can't endure.
Please Dont Make Me
And 99.999% of the time our customers are extremely happy.

Then there is that other .001%...

This week I had one customer threaten to

hunt be down and shoot me like a dog.

Another said that if she could get her hands around my neck she'd strangle the life out of me.

And still another sincerely hoped that I "burn in Hell for all eternity."

What did I do to deserve these threats?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Why then are these people who I assume are otherwise nice, normal human beings wishing me such ill will?

Here's the full story...

It's because they ordered something from one of my websites and

they did not receive the confirmation email in a timely manner.

That's it. An email didn't reach their inbox.

And being human, which is the most suspicious and non-trusting species on the planet, these wonderful folks decided that since they didn't receive the email as quickly as they felt they

should, I was a scammer out to steal their money and that I should be shot, strangled, and condemned to Hell for all eternity.

All because they didn't receive an email.

And was it my fault that they didn't receive the email?

Nope, not at all. My entire system is automated and works like a charm.

Did they take the time to logically think about the possible reasons that the email was not received?

Did it ever occur to them that the blame might lie in their own email filters or their ISP's filters?

Did it ever cross their mind that the email might just be sitting in their spam folder (as was the case in each of these examples)?

Nope, instead they decided - within MINUTES of clicking the buy button - that your old buddy, Tim, was the spawn of Satan and a scam artist just out to steal their money.

And do you think it ever occurred to these good, decent folks to click the customer service email link that is clearly shown on

their sales receipt to request that their information be sent again?

Nope and nope again. That would have made too much sense.

Do you think they took the time to read the long explanation on the sales receipt and the order "thanks page" that explains that sometimes email filters block delivery of download emails and they should contact customer service if they have a problem?

Nope,nope, and nope.

Instead, they somehow found my personal email address and started sending me death threats.

Let me tell you, nothing warms the cockles of your heart (did you know your heart had cockles?) like receiving an email from a customer who actually has the word "God" in their email address who hopes that you burn in HE-double hockey sticks because he didn't receive an email with his order information.

So this leads me back to the beginning of my story.

Please Don't Buy Anything From Me...

At least until you read the rest of the story...

First, let me explain the mechanics of online ordering.

When you come to one of my websites and click a button to purchase a product, here's what happens.

My website adds the product to a shopping cart.

When you click to proceed you either pay by credit card or are taken to Paypal, where you can log in to an existing Paypal account or set up a new account.

On

the last page of the checkout process there is a button labeled "CONTINUE." When you click the CONTINUE button you are taken back to my website to the product download page.

The credit card processor or Paypal transmits a signal back to my system that lets me know

that you made a purchase. My system displays the link to your order information on the download page and at the same time sends

your order information to the email address you used to place the order.

The entire process is instantaneous and automated.

And it works

extremely well. At least on my end.

It is when my system attempts to deliver the email to the customer's email address that problems sometime occur.

It's estimated that only about 25% of emails get past ISP spam filters now.

Especially if the recipient uses a free email system like Hotmail,

Yahoo, Gmail, and MSN.

And many ISPs, namely AOL, Comcast, Cox, Earthlink, and Juno,

just to name a few, also heavily filter their user's emails without the user ever knowing it.

Of the 25% that the ISP actually lets through, the user's email program filters out another 3/4 of those.

So every now and then an email sent by my system does not end up in the customer's inbox, but gets blocked by the ISP or filtered

by the user's email program to a junk or spam folder.

And when that happens most customers are sane and polite and simply request that their information be sent again, which we are more

than happy to do.

Then again, some customers immediately think that they have been scammed and that I should be put to death.

People. Gotta love 'em...

So the next time you buy something from me or any other reputable online vendor and the email doesn't hit your inbox as quickly as you think it should, instead of pulling out the torches and pitchforks and screaming for blood, check your spam folder to see if the information is there.

If it is, problem solved. Put your pitchfork away.

If it isn't, don't blow your top and start sending death threats.

Just politely ask that it be sent again.

Email is an imperfect medium.

Remember that the next time you threaten to shoot, strangle, or condemn to Hell someone who has done you no wrong.
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Both Tom Attea & Tim-knox are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

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