One of the most widely-distributed, sometimes unasked for, gifts given to us by our friends and family is a little-acknowledged thing called "feedback." Sometimes, we welcome it; sometimes, we turn away from it; and sometimes, we don't want to listen to it at all, yet the wisdom of our friends looking into our lives can help us unfold and become more than we are currently.



I often say to clients, friends and associates: "I wish you could see yourself the way others see you."

Many of you are much greater than you give yourself credit for. If you could see your talent and potential more clearly, you would not even consider holding yourself back through such tactics as self -doubt, self-criticism, or being a victim.

Some of you could be so much more, could reach higher goals if only you were wise enough to listen to the feedback provided for you. Is it easy to hear? Oftentimes, it is not. If you know the person who's offering the feedback, why not look at it and consider adopting the advice? Stand back and look at it from their perspective. Do you have the courage unfolded to change your thinking, what's available for you and see new possibilities for yourself.

Lucky are those of you who surround yourself with parents, mentors, and coaches who care enough and are wise enough to provide this valuable feedback. You've learned to get out of your own way, to get over yourself, and grow through other's wisdom.

Let's look at feedback from the provider's viewpoint for a moment as it is not always easy to fulfill this role. To communicate feedback effectively is risky, even for those of us who have permission to provide such observations. And sometimes, it's messy.

One of the most difficult aspects of providing feedback is that you are providing information, not solving the problem. As a typical case, I can easily see that a particular client of mine could benefit from looking at a certain challenge in a different way, and that he'd have a very different experience if he'd change. However, it is up to them to

1) select the new light through which they will now view their scenario and then

2) actually do it.

As challenging as it is for both participants, the most beneficial way to end many coaching sessions is to simply put the feedback or observations out there, leaving questions unanswered; dilemmas unsolved, and options open. This gives power and ownership to the client.

Teach a person to cook a fish and they'll eat for an hour. Teach them to catch fish and they'll eat for a lifetime.

We've looked at both sides of feedback - receiving it and giving it. In order for you to reach higher in your life this week, I challenge you to become more insightful and masterful in both arenas. Enjoy your discoveries and have a great week!