Some people are of the opinion that computer software was designed to help us make the most of our computers, those wonderful tools invented to help us store and access masses of data and to generally make our lives easier. There are some among us, however, who have cottoned on to the truth of the matter, and are quietly, patiently waiting for our time to strike. We are growing in numbers every day, and the subtle swell of our voices can be heard everywhere you go. Who are we? We are the only sensible ones left - we know that computer software was designed to confuse us!



So we don't pretend to understand the machinations of the computer even before the software is added, but surely there has to be a simpler way to navigate this all-hallowed tool? It's not that we're lacking in the brain department; we manage to weave our merry way through our daily lives without incurring too many trials and tribulations, we feed and clothe ourselves, and prevent ourselves from smelling bad. Hey, we can even make a piece of toast if we have to - so why can't we use our computers for ten minutes straight without running into some kind of problem of another?

Perhaps it's the geeks way of getting their own back on us. We've pointed and laughed for years while they've pressed their noses further into their books. Books we could manage, so to keep all the really important information to themselves, they had to invent something really tricky. So they came up with computer software.

Haven't you noticed how quickly they can fix any problem you encounter? At the first sign of a software error message, they emerge from the woodwork, click a few things and there you go - back into your document or spreadsheet without a clue how you got out, or got back in. They seem to have written all the software in some strange language that only they can understand, and they probably have weekly meetings, where they go and laugh at how they got one over on us.

But we can let them have their day. We have worked out just what they're up to with this software business and we are compiling evidence against as we speak. At least I think we are. Hey, what's that error message say?