"I hadn't even gotten a drink yet and he went in for a kiss," Violet said. "We met at the new sushi restaurant downtown and while we waited for our table in the bar he managed to land one on my cheek."



He reached for her hand as Violet tried to laugh it off, and when she pulled away, his arm ended up around her shoulders. Men like this could be misunderstood, desperate, or unable to decipher social cues, but they're creepy just the same.

As far as I know footsy is a tool screenwriters use to create sexual tension among their characters. But once Violet sat down for dinner, her date promptly took off his right shoe and tried to play footsy. I can't believe people really do this.

Violet responded with what should be a patented scowl. I have never duplicated it, but it's a mixture of disgust, shock, disapproval, and frustration. I'm unable to describe the scowl better. There just aren't the right words to describe the way she drops her head to look at you from the corner of her eyes or the way she scrunches and contorts her facial muscles. Her date should have understood the message she gave immediately. Her scowl is her talent.

"There were so many problems with him at this point," Violet explained. "For starters he's flirting the way men do in soft-porn, and he wasn't smart enough to translate my scowl to really mean, back the f@#$ off! So I just asked him, flat out. 'What is your problem? Don't you know how to behave on a date?'"

Again the guy just laughed and responded by grabbing her hands across the table saying, "don't you know what its like to have someone come on to you?"

"Yah, I do, and I don't really like it," she responded as he ran all ten of his fingers across hers. "Do you have itchy finger tips or something, why are you still touching me?"

She decided to stay and struggle through the dinner, but only because she felt it was an opportunity to help all woman-kind everywhere, or at the minimum at least help the next Match.com victim. Sadly all her efforts were lost on him. The next day, in the customary follow-up Match e-mail, he wrote that he enjoyed their date and looked forward to kissing her voluptuous lips and holding hands for real, "like grown ups do."

Now, neither Violet nor I know what "like grown-ups do" means exactly, but it sounds dirty and so she wrote back saying, "I will absolutely not be seeing you again. And hey, do me a favor; please always keep your shoes on when in public."

Violet, well done. I don't think I could say it any better. To recap, if any of you find yourself with an itchy-fingered date, here is what you do:

Joke about how affectionate he is Dirty looks work Ask if he has a problem Point out his dating faux pas Follow up in an e-mail telling him what bothered you