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Team And Trust Building

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We begin with the "offended" partner of the infidelity summarizing her situation and concerns and describing what she truly wants to say to her spouse.



I then outline some goals that help him/her break free from the affair.

The concluding section helps her shift the focal point to her own valid concerns and struggles. In other words, what does all this mean for the person on the receiving end of an extramarital affair? After that mental shift (which is NOT easy for someone in the pain and turmoil of perhaps losing one's spouse, family, and home) I, the coach, offer phrases that he/she can relay to his/her spouse in a way that speaks directly of his/her concern and has the best chance of being heard and getting positive results.

Section 1: The "offended spouse" says:

Trust has been broken and it will never be the same. I believe at some point the trust will return, but that trust will never be the same. This whole experience has taught me to think about my needs, think of the ways that the relationship has been unfulfilling for me and asking for what I want. It helped me find out about boundaries and how to figure out which boundaries I needed to set up. I just defend my space more I guess. If I find out that he is having another affair, it would be easier for me to accept the truth and walk away, rebuild my life because I spent enough time on myself and figured out what I want and who and what my sources of support are. I want to know what it is that keeps us stuck, from moving close to each other and feeling that warm emotional connection. I think at the bottom of all barriers there is FEAR. How do we get over the fear to reach out and connect? My husband says I always have bad timing for these conversations. I feel very much like I am an invisible wife when we are together. We are just polite to each other. "Moving on" for him is to bury the past. I think it's easier for the offender to bury the past. I have to say, there was more passion and more sex between us when the affair was going on because we really talked all the time about our feelings. Once he stopped the relationship, he avoids talking about his feelings and if I want to have this kind of intimacy with him, the door is "shut". Our sexual relationship is luke warm because I feel very removed emotionally. It's almost as if every move he makes to get close to me ( a hug, a kiss ) is very tentative, not really coming from a place of intimacy but it is more like a surface stroke. Why is he being so tentative and blah? I know I have too many questions but I need your help.

Section 2: Personal goals suggested by the coach

Determine the pattern, the impasse, the barrier that precludes more intimacy.

Identify the fearful part of me.

Get to the bottom of "bad timing."

Explore in detail the kind of affair that you faced to help determine strategy.

Section 3: What the affair means for the "offended spouse" and what he/she REALLY wants to say to his spouse/partner having the affair:

If the affair was "I don't want to say no" - "I'm not sure I'm willing to live in a relationship where I struggle so much with being "invisible.If I continue to feel invisilbe and as if my feelings and thoughts don't matter, I will draw a line somewhere and I will be done.

If the affair was "I need to prove my desirability" - "It is difficult maintaining and building our intimacy, the way it seems. I struggle with that... feeling ok about myself. I wonder if you do too?"

If the affair was "I want to be close to someone, but can't stand intimacy" - "Wow! My life has been a huge series of ups and downs. We move close, we move away. We seem to be pulling away now. I suppose this serves some purpose?"

If the affair was "My marriage made me do it" - "OK, What the #@%# is going on here? There's a part of me that wants to spit nails. I do NOT want to live this way. I'm extremely %*#@ off at what is happening, or not happening! And, I would think you might be #$#%# off too!"

What is your situation? Describe your situation. Let it flow. Don't hold back. Then, ask yourself, "What does this marital mean for ME?" What impact does his/her extramarital affair have on my feelings, thoughts and actions? Then rehearse approaching your spouse/partner with phrases that convey the meaning and impact of the infidelity for YOU.
Team And Trust Building
An effective sales cycle is based on building a relationship of trust with your potential clients. I'm sure you've heard it said before, but it's worth repeating, "People buy from those they like and trust." It is truly as simple as that. Trust is critical. Especially for the service professional and small business owner.

Without trust, it doesn't matter how well you've planned, what you're offering, or whether or not you've created a wide variety of buying options to meet varying budgets. If the potential client doesn't trust you, nothing else matters. They aren't going to buy from you. Period.

All sales start with a simple conversation and are executed when a need is met and trust is assured. The Book Yourself Solid Sales Cycle helps us start the trust building process and helps us systematically, automatically, and authentically move the relationship forward.

If you're good at making friends you'll be good at making sales. Sales is often a confronting subject for many of us but as I mention above the sales conversation is just that - a conversation. If you can talk to people you can make a sale for the betterment of the person that is buying your product or service. It's not about manipulation or coercion.

In order to design a Sales Cycle for your business, you must first establish your 6 Part Foundation and your 6 Part Trust Building Process. The combination of these two exercises will give you a Sales Cycle that will attract more clients than you can handle, even if you hate marketing and selling.

The 6 Part Sales Cycle Foundation - The Who, What, Where, When, Why and How

The foundation on which you rest your Sales Cycle is crucial. You need to have a solid foundation before actually designing a sales cycle. To build a foundation which will give you rock solid security you must clearly and concisely identify the who, what, where, when, why and how. This will ensure that the offers you're making in your 5 Stage Sales Cycle Process are right on target.

- Who Is Your Target Client/Customer? Focus on one person (or organization) within your target market.

- What Are They Looking For? You've got to understand what your ideal client or customer is looking for.

- When Do They Look For You? What needs to happen in their personal life or work life for them to want the kind of service that you offer?

- Why You? What is unique about you or the solutions you offer?

- How Do You Want Them To Engage with You? What is it that you want a potential client to do when they find you?

- The Book Yourself Solid 6 Stage Sales Cycle Process

In creating a sales cycle you'll design a step-by-step way to ease your potential clients from the first stage; getting them to your website, to the end stage; your highest price-point product, program or service.

Stage 1: The idea in this stage is to introduce yourself to your target market and begin to create awareness for the services, products, and programs you offer.

Stage 2: Give/Engage: Now that you've got your prospective client to your website (or other meeting place) you need to offer solutions, opportunities and relevant information in exchange for their email address or other way of continuing the conversation.

Stage 3: Keep giving low-barrier for entry offers of value-rich content, opportunities, experiences etc. Your goal is to build trust and deepen the conversation.

Stage 4: If potential client responds to Stage 3, assess then make an email or verbal offer based on the most appropriate products, programs and services.

Stage 5: If client accepts offer and becomes client/customer! Thank them, celebrate and then over-deliver. Surprise them with value.

Stage 6: If prospect does not engage and become a client or customer, still go above and beyond to offer something of unexpected value and keep in touch, keep in touch, keep in touch. Always offering value and deepening the bond of trust between them and you. When they NEED your services you will be top of mind.

There are a multitude of ways to build trust with your potential clients and to ease them toward purchasing your higher price point offerings. There is no 'one' right way, so use your imagination and creativity to tailor your sales cycle to what works best, feels most natural, and resonates most with you. This can be done in a 3-stage process or a 15-stage process. It's really up to you, but I've found through experience and research that a 6-stage cycle at a minimum is most effective.

The key is to remember that all of your marketing is about getting your message out to those who most need, and will most greatly benefit from, your services, products, and programs. It's about connecting with your potential clients to develop and deepen genuine relationships based on trust. When you understand and incorporate this philosophy into your marketing, it makes the sales process easy, relaxed and wildly successful.

© 2006 Michael Port & Associates LLC

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About Author
Both Robert Huizenga & Michael Port are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Robert Huizenga has sinced written about articles on various topics from Infidelity, Speeding Ticket and Divorce and Infidelity. Dr. Robert Huizenga, CSW, LMFT, The Infidelity Coach, is an author, and Marriage and Family Therapist. For the past two decades he has educated hundreds of couples on the. Robert Huizenga's top article generates over 165000 views. Bookmark Robert Huizenga to your Favourites.

Michael Port has sinced written about articles on various topics from Marketing, Infidelity and Information Technology. Get more clients with Michael Port, expert marketing coach for small business owners and professional service providers. Free small business resources, networking opportunities, articles, advice and coaching on professional services marketing at. Michael Port's top article generates over 12100 views. Bookmark Michael Port to your Favourites.
30 Days To Death
Youre better off biting the bullet and paying back the loan in full plus finance charge. 3. Communicate with the lender. Ask questions. Make sure you understand what you are committing to
 
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