Ah...the essential dinner party. Yes, there may be all kinds of new ways to entertain friends - from your all-white penthouse and vodka party in New York City, or over the grill with the latest health-conscious country-on-country fusion, perhaps. But when it comes right down to it, the plain truth is that the most grown-up and gracious of all entertainments comes down to the humble - or not so humble - dinner party.



Think about this: back a few decades ago, one of the chief reasons for the up-and-coming businessman to have a wife in the first place was so that he'd have a suitable hostess for such soirees. The right wife - in addition to being beauteous to look upon and charming - would be able to put together an impressive menu, an interesting guest list, and a tasteful table.

It is true that it takes some thought and creativity to put together a great summer party out by the pool or a clever cocktail party with delicious little bites and a well-stocked bar. However wonderful these parties are, though, they can't compete with an invitation to dine at your table, with a carefully chosen group of friends and a delectable menu. It is the classic and quintessential event to mark your attention and your best feelings.

Now is the time to start thinking about putting together the first big dinner party of the fall season. It will be a gracious and enjoyable way to kick off the fall - which, if you've noticed in stores, is quickly turning already to the Christmas season! Sure - it's still hot as Hades out there, but the change is coming, and wouldn't you like to know that you have the perfect group of people at your table to enjoy the perfect dinner and the perfect conversation. After all, soon people will start thinking about traveling for Thanksgiving and pulling into full holiday party swing...wouldn't it be nice to have your social obligations taken care of well in advance?

While it is nice to have a beautiful dining room with a grand pedestal or Jupe table, French monogrammed table linens, and a shimmering array of china and crystal, it is not necessary. One of the best dinner parties I ever attended was thrown by a couple who had stacked card tables against their kitchen table, thrown a white cloth over all, and pulled up a variety of chairs culled from all over the house and patio. With a good eye for detail, you can pull together a number of elements - dishes, flatware, glasses, and napkins - and create an attractive tableau, as Martha Stewart might say. If you don't have the eye yourself, bring in a friend who is talented in this arena - just make sure that you've invited that person to the party!

Once you've figured out how to make a pretty party, it's time to turn to delicious food. It used to be very easy to pick up a copy of Bon Appetit or Gourmet magazines and find a suitable and elegant menu. However, it seems (to me, at least) that some of the foodie magazines are busy out-foodying each other so much that it's hard to find more than a couple of recipes in each that sound palatable or that are comprised of ingredients readily available within a 200-mile radius of my home. Luckily, though, there are hundreds of older menus available via www.epicurious.com, and if you go back about 10 years, these menus will sound retro-hip instead of old and tired.

Use the best and freshest ingredients available, and go to your local wine shop and ask for the best reds and whites that will go with these dishes. Gone are the days of having to drink red with beef, but because the rules here have changed, you have to be prepared to pour a palatable choice from several color ranges. In addition, you might want to have some after-dinner drink options - ports, brandies, or liqueurs. They'll look special with the dessert and coffee, and also really help to wind the drinking up for the evening - they're simply too rich to keep going!

And while everything is looking rich and wonderful, make an effort with yourself. A nice jacket and well-tailored shirt will lend the right touch of consummate host to your repertoire for the evening, and you can accessorize with a pair of cufflinks that will shine in the candlelight and be an easy conversation starter with the wife of the boss - who will be sitting to your right, as befits the female guest of honor.

While you could choose a simple, classic pair of cufflinks, you could also vroom up the conversation with a pair made to represent wine glasses, casks, or champagne flutes. Have a good story about them ready to tell, as well as some wine to pour. Remember, it's always better to shoot your cuffs than to shoot the bull.