Addiction to drugs or alcohol is a terrible fate affecting more than 20 million people in this country. Maybe by telling my story, you can help me save others from the kind of desperation I experienced.



Three short years ago, I was smoking crystal meth and snorting OxyContin every day. I was completely hopeless and out of control. My life was spent dancing on a pole in a nightclub, just to be able to afford the next hit that I was going to take in the club's bathroom.

Self-respect did not exist. Instead, it was replaced by a false sense of confidence that I exhibited to all those who came in contact with me. I hated my parents, my life, and myself. I thought that drugs helped me feel ?normal.? I didn't realize that the drugs just kept the more basic problems out of sight.

On October 9, 2005, I hit that "bottom" that you hear addicts talk about. That moment is as fresh for me as yesterday.

That moment came when I was all alone, sitting in a hospital emergency room. I was covered in blood and looking through my cell phone for someone to come help me. I saw the other people in the ER all had family or friends with them. None of the ?friends? I had been getting high with for years would come help me. My family refused to have anything to do with me.

I'd started bleeding heavily a few hours before. Just before I drove myself to the ER, I shot up crystal meth and OxyContin. In the ER, I found out that I was four months pregnant and miscarrying. I was so out of touch that I didn't even know I was pregnant.

For hours, the nurses monitored my hormone levels as I waited for my unborn child to die inside me. Finally, the doctor came in and let me know that last hit I had taken had killed my baby. Trembling and hysterical, I called my mother. She didn't believe anything I told her because, like a typical addict, I had been lying to her and manipulating her for years.

That was the moment I hit bottom. Instead of calling anyone else to help, I turned my cell phone around and took a video of myself, makeup smeared down my face from crying. I told myself in that video, ?Remember this moment.? I kept that video on my cell phone for the next couple of years.

I left that hospital completely numb. I got home and lay in bed trying to search for answers. Once again, I called my mom. I uttered the words "I am ready...I need help." Within the hour she had plane tickets for me to fly to her house. I left everything ? my clothes, my car, my jewelry, everything, and made it to the airport.

When I got to my parent's home, they talked to me about going to Narconon Arrowhead in Oklahoma for a drug rehabilitation program. I really wanted help but I honestly didn't think it was possible for anyone to help me. I felt so dead that I still fought the people who were trying to help me.

Somehow, my family finally got me on a plane to Narconon. From the time I entered the doors to Narconon Arrowhead, the real Emily started to come out of hiding. Now, three years later, I've made a complete recovery. I've been clean since the day I walked in. I don't have to carry the guilt around from those years any more because I'm now happy, confident and healthy. I am a dedicated, responsible mother of a beautiful 18-month-old son. I owe my life and happiness to Narconon and the methods it uses.

I just wish that other people who are caught in the trap of addiction could find the kind of help that Narconon Arrowhead gave me. There's a portion of their program that uses a sauna and nutritional supplements to flush drug residues from the body and that helps eliminate the cravings. There's counseling and life skills courses that restore the self-respect that drugs destroy. It saved my life and the lives of the other people I met there.

Sincerely,

ECF