I am of course ranting about the pre-conceived ideas that we, singles seemingly always bring to the dating table. And there again it is true for divorced people, those single souls that were once in a relationship and having to do it all over again, and true also for the never married, the eternal spinsters, men or women even though I am aware that by definition, the word spinster applies to a woman who has never married!

Habits forged over a life time are always difficult to dismiss. After all we are creatures of habits. They guide us through our lives, make us feel better; determine whom we are and how we live.

But according to a recent poll, a staggering 30 pc of American adults are singles, some having never been married before. Staggering as these figures are, one thing they indicated that as far as our dating habits are concerned, we may very well be embarked on the wrong path. They have not brought us any luck so far in our attempts to find relationship and romance, and in all likelihood, they will not bring us any more success in the future.

It seems evident then that we ought to re-visit our preconceived ideas about who we are really, and the partners we are looking for. Let's not be afraid of learning from past mistakes. Our expectations, our assessment of the men and women we are and want to meet, all these need to be looked at more carefully.

When searching through profiles after profiles, I am often amazed at the apparent perfection these single men and women have achieved in their lives. Men and women want it all. The looks, the attraction, the immediate and sudden physical pull, the successful career, the house in the city and a vacation home elsewhere, the need for independence coinciding with a search for an equal provider, the whole package.

They take one look at your profile and make a decision there and there based on a couple of photos and statements on a web site page, which may, or may not reflect exactly what the person really is.

And based on that initial assessment, they decide on their course of action. It doesn't matter that they might actually get to really like the person they are rejecting if they got to know him/her better, they just go with their initial intuition which is crazy really since often times they have been married in the first place.

Dating, and online dating is difficult. It's not an easy task to find a partner, a soul mate, a companion to spend a life time with, or at least some of it. For the sake for sanity, let us not make it any more difficult then it already is.

T'is tough to date nowayday.