Sometimes this can lead to a secret hope that perhaps your ex girlfriend will feel sorry for you and come back to you and then you will be happy again.

In this emotional state it may seem easier to settle for sympathy instead of love and you may succeed in getting your ex girlfriend back for awhile. Women tend to feel responsible to rescue and help someone they see in emotional distress and pain.

But you have to realize that this will backfire on you in the long run. In effect you are laying the burden of your emotional pain on your ex girlfriend, and because women are usually more sensitive and nurturing she may come back to you just to save you from some of the hurt you are feeling, but this doesn't lay the foundation for a healthy relationship, you are planting the seeds for a co-dependent and dysfunctional type of relationship instead. A relationship that will only end up causing both of you more pain in the future.

Now you may not consciously realize you are doing this, but this is also a manipulative type of behavior - a serious relationship killer. You may succeed in getting your ex girlfriend to feel sorry for you and want to come back, but would you rather have real love or just pity?

Looking for sympathy instead of real love may get your ex girlfriend's attention for awhile, but in the end you will only make things worse. You deserve more, and if you don't think so then you need to find ways to boost your confidence and opinion of yourself.

If you are really serious about getting your ex girlfriend back you need to understand that you just cannot attract someone's love when you are being clingy, desperate and emotionally needy.

Instead it's important to take time now and work on yourself. Do things that make you feel better and stronger and help you find a sense of joy and not only will you start liking yourself more but you will also become more attractive to your ex. Then you are ready to begin planning a SMARTER strategy for getting your ex girlfriend back.