Something goes wrong in your life and the reaction you may have is saying to yourself, “Why me? Things never go my way, why do bad things always happen to me?”



What you have just done is reinforced a negative situation, given it attention and focus and are now attracting more of the same issues to yourself. Then when something else didn't go your way, you're in the “I'm doomed!” mentality.

The good news is that what you perceive to be a problem is really just an opportunity to course correct. An opportunity to analyze what it is that you are feeling so back about and then begin to ask yourself some serious questions.

You can ask yourself something like, “What do I want out of this situation?” Now your mind has to come up with an answer. It is not focused on the problem, but the solution that you would prefer. Then ask yourself, “What am I going to do to get it?” That's right, you need to take action. Wanting a different result is great, now take the responsibility of getting it by taking action.

Let me give you an example of what I am talking about. A friend of mine recently had a problem at work. This is a job she has had for years now and was very good at what she did. She had hopes of moving up in the company, taking on more responsibility and providing more value for the company.

One day, she was confronted by her superiors with a “so-called” suspicious action that she had supposedly taken. She knew she had done nothing improper and she also knew she was being set up as a target from a higher level manager.

She stood her ground, explained her circumstances and was given a warning and told that her judgment was in question here and further advancement may not be an option at this time because of it. Now my friend could have sunk her head and walked away and continued working in a hostile environment. She could have allowed this circumstance to define what her possibilities would be with this company.

Instead, she became grateful for this awakening and came to realize she had been stopping herself from going after what she was really passionate about. She had felt a sense of obligation for all the time they had devoted to grooming her and an obligation to those that were counting on her.

Not any more! She allowed herself to be released from this self-imposed obligation by asking herself some great questions – “Is this where I really want to be?” “What would I really love to be doing?” “What am I going to do to get there?”

The clearer she became on the answers to these questions, the more excited she got. What had seemed like a devastating moment in her career just became the turning point in her career. She could have said why me and what did I do to deserve this and decided to become a victim to the circumstance.

Instead, it gave her the ability to clearly define what she wanted out of life. It fueled her desire to go after her real dream and she took action. She researched this new path and found out exactly what she could do to enter this field. She found an entry level position, and within a few months was living the dream position that she had envisioned.

How could it have happened so quickly you ask? Did she have superior talent, was she gifted, was it about who she knew? No, but she was clear in her desire, she was passionate about her goals, she focused on getting the results she wanted and she asked herself the right questions.

Negativity only breeds more of the same. Every problem is a chance to course correct. Look to your feelings as your guide. When you are feeling positive and happy, you know that you are aligned with what you should be doing in life. When you feel sad and depressed, get excited! Now you have the opportunity to ask yourself the questions that can get you on the right path.

This process can be used in your work, in your relationships, in your health, in any aspect of your life. How you think about anything in your life, how you perceive it to be is the reality that you are creating. If you want a better reality then start with better thoughts.