The first step in determining out how to get your ex back is to figure out what went wrong in the first place. You know what happened - your ex left you - but you need to understand WHY this happened. Your ex leaving is just the outcome of this unfortunate situation. Did your ex run off with someone else? It's quite possible they're looking for something that they once found in you that's no longer there. Maybe they just left. Then it's possible they're looking for some quality they no longer see in you. Understanding this is key to planning your strategy.



Now is the time for some serious thinking. Find a quiet place where you can be completely alone and feel relaxed, and start thinking back to when you first met.

Focus on what attracted each of you to one another. As your relationship continued, what were the main reasons you stayed together? It would be helpful to make a list of the things about your ex that you admired most, and the things you did that resulted in positive reactions from them. As the two of you grew to the point where you started sharing emotions, what was it about you that seemed to please them the most?

Once you have revisited the early days in your mind, you should be able to see yourself as the person your ex fell in love with. And if you're totally honest with yourself, you'll most likely realize that that person is not the you of today. This is not necessarily a bad thing; after all, most people do change at some point in time. But it might give you a clue as to why your ex left. Since you are no longer the same person, your mate will look for those qualities in someone else. Getting back to the way things were in the beginning could help to get your ex back.

Let's go back to the example where your ex left you for someone else. When you were in the put your best foot forward days of dating, pleasing your partner was your first priority. You were more than likely attentive, caring, loving and romantic - always making sure your significant other felt like the center of your universe.

But as time went on and the newness wore off, you started taking your ex for granted. It happens all the time. The pressures of day to day life seem to get in the way, and the ecstatic feelings of your romantic moments together wane. Just like the old song The Thrill Is Gone. But don't feel too guilty - it usually happens with both partners.

Everybody has a need to feel loved, cherished, needed and appreciated by the ones we care about. And rest assured, if you want to feel like this, your significant other does as well. Renewing that love, passion and desire will be key to getting your ex back.