Much is being touted about mediation vs. court standardized divorce procedures these days. I used an attorney when I got my divorce, but mediation wasn't in vogue then as it is now. It's popularity has grown over the past twenty years. Frankly, I think mediation is a very viable alternative to going through divorce courts.
In mediation, both individuals have a voice that is clearly heard. A mediator can educate the divorcing couple about techniques for calmer communication. These techniques become useful on an ongoing basis as the kids are growing up. When the divorcing couple use the techniques taught via mediation, their child is blessed, because inflamed emotions and blame subside and objectivity comes to the forefront.
Agreements reached through the employment of a Mediator have a higher compliance rate because both parents participated in the creation of the agreement. If you agreed upon something, why would you not honor your own agreement? Mediation that you've both worked on is much easier to live with than having some judge's decision land in your lap.
Mediation clarifies communication generally, because each individual gets time to speak. The mediator will not tolerate over lording.
During the first mediation session, each party gets to lay his cards on the table and they both decide on the agenda items for the second meeting. Then, each of them gathers data for next meeting from all the relevant sources. This is the time when real estate has to be assessed; retirement funds examined; debts tallied, etc.
During the second meeting, you work to clarify any issues that require resolution, and you mutually make a decision about the outcome. For example, you might look at how the assets will be distributed, who gets custody and when, or how much child support or alimony is agreeable. The participating parties are taught both how to compromise, how to negotiate, and how to honor the court systems of the state in which they reside.
Then, an Agreement is drafted by the mediator. You will have the opportunity to review the Agreement, revise it, finalize it. It becomes legally binding in it's final format. If you use a mediator, there are no court appearances. Mediation is frequently less expensive than hiring an attorney and is a common sense alternative to a court divorce.
Mediators are trained to help emotionally explosive couples. Mediators will not let an overly powerful spouse exploit the less powerful one. The Mediator is neutral. He does not side with either party. The mediator does not provide advice for either side of the divorce table. If you feel it necessary, it is optional to bring an attorney with you to the mediation session. I think Mediation is a viable option if you must get a divorce.
Help Save Your Marriage
And, even if you're just spending a couple of nights, you can sometimes save as much as 50--70% by choosing the right hotel location, as explained below.
Let's say you're a couple planning a trip to the San Francisco Bay Area for a special occasion.
You would like to spend the week:
-visiting wineries,
-hiking in Point Reyes National Seashore and Muir Woods,
-exploring Big Sur, Carmel and Monterey, and
-experiencing the highlights of San Francisco.
It would be simple for you to book seven nights in a San Francisco hotel. After all, you would be within an easy day's drive of everything you want to see.
However, seven nights in a San Francisco hotel would be expensive--and even more so as you probably want an especially nice place for this trip. And, on top of that, you would have to pay about $30--45 a day for parking in a safe area.
Instead, why not spend the first three nights closer to the Wine Country and the national seashore?
You could book a very nice resort-style hotel in or near Santa Rosa for a fraction of the cost of a similar hotel in San Francisco.
You would end up really close to many of the finest Napa Valley wineries, the Calistoga hot springs spas, and even the exceptional restaurant of the Culinary Institute of America. Moreover, you'd be just a few minutes from beautiful Point Reyes National Seashore.
Then, after your last night in Santa Rosa, you could enjoy a scenic drive along the Marin County coastline toward San Francisco, with stops in charming Sausalito and the redwoods of Muir Woods National Monument before heading over the Golden Gate Bridge.
That night, you could even end up dining at one of the many fabulous San Francisco restaurants using money you'd saved on hotels! You'd be staying in San Francisco two nights.
After your last night in San Francisco, you wouldn't need to head out right away. You could still spend most of the day exploring the city.
Then, timing your drive before or after any rush hour traffic, you could take scenic southbound Interstate 280, which runs in a greenbelt along a ridge, giving you views of San Francisco Bay. Near San Jose, you'd switch to State Highway 85 and then U.S. 101, and continue toward Carmel and Monterey.
In the Carmel and Monterey area, you would have a choice: 1) You could either use some of your hotel savings to stay in a fantastically romantic place, such as the Tickle Pink Inn along the shore, or 2) continue to save by booking a quality place inland.
For the latter, the ultimate hotel money saver in the Carmel and Monterey area is the nearby town of Salinas.
The Grapes of Wrath no longer haunt John Steinbeck's Salinas. It's become a pleasant working-class town with a center city that people enjoy in the evening.
Salinas puts you a mere 25 minutes from Carmel, but in a different price range altogether.
So, what have you done here? You've had three nights in Santa Rosa, two in San Francisco, and two in the Monterey area.
Not only have you saved a lot on hotels--even if you splurged in Carmel--you've also saved a lot of time commuting from a San Francisco hotel. This is time you've been able to use visiting fun and memorable places, rather than on the road.
When saving money helps you have a better vacation, you have travel savings at its finest.
Both Len Stauffenger & Don Nadeau are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Len Stauffenger has sinced written about articles on various topics from Bathroom Home Improvement, After Divorce and Health. In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares his simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce with his daughters and with you. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbo. Len Stauffenger's top article generates over 110000 views. Bookmark Len Stauffenger to your Favourites.
Don Nadeau has sinced written about articles on various topics from Hotels and Hostels, After Divorce and Travel and Leisure. Don Nadeau, an extensive world traveler and president of BidonTravel.com, loves helping people travel "on the cheap." Links pertaining to this article include. Don Nadeau's top article generates over 2400 views. Bookmark Don Nadeau to your Favourites.
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